Posts tagged ‘Divorce’

October 12, 2011

Another Mass Murder

by MullOverThis

Today, eight human beings were murdered and at least one other was critically injured at the hands of a Caucasian male mass murderer at Seal Beach, California.

Why?

Why?

Obviously, this guy should not have gotten custody of his children.

How many other people paid the price because a man lost a custody battle?

And to think, some people seem to think that Black people should model themselves after White people to move up a few notches in family values.

Mulloverthis.

Advertisements
July 1, 2008

Bynum’s Battle is Over–Weeks and Bynum Divorce Final

by MullOverThis

If you live long enough, you will experience the best of times and the worst of times, all at the same time.  This holds true, for example, when a doting father watches his only daughter get married.  The ultra dad may be exuberant while witnessing his daughter take on the life of a wife, all while grieving because his baby girl is now looking to another  as her strong man, protector, provider and leader.  Divorce often has this ambivalent effect on couples that don’t make it.  While each partner may be looking forward to a permanent dissolution of the marriage, it is often a painstaking reminder of the end of life as usual.  Psychologically, it can be as traumatic as experiencing a death, or loss of a loved one.  So, this divorce cannot be an easy time for Bynum or Weeks.

The couple received a final divorce decree on June 20, 2008 at the Atlanta area Gwinnett County Superior Court.  Bynum and Weeks were a high-profile ministry couple who had an unprecedented media exposed take-by-take coverage of the demise of their marriage.  Their union had challenges like most.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was the August 21, 2007 parking lot incident where Bynum alleged that her then husband, Weeks, assaulted her by beating and repeatedly kicking her.  Weeks plead guilty to aggravated assault, after initially stating that he never put his hands on  Bynum.  He later changed his story and said he pushed Bynum away because she was attempting to assault him.  Bynum was the one with the documented bruises and the testimony of two black male hotel employees who had no prior relationship to Bynum other than seeing her frequent the hotel.  Even with Weeks’ alleged spousal abuse to his first wife, alleged physical altercations with a male and female church employee, a switch in stories before the world, and conviction, he still claims to be the victim. 

Had Michael Jackson, OJ Simpson, Marion Barry, Mike Tyson and most recently R. Kelly not been hailed as heros by a litany of supporters amidst alleged crimes against women and children, I might be alarmed.  This is the world we live in.  Where a prominent Baptist preacher petitioned for Mike Tyson, who has recently been linked to a murder plot in Bedford-Stuyvestant area of Brooklyn, New York, to have his prison sentence for raping Desiree Washington stayed.  Where were the church leaders petitioning for Bishop Weeks or other pastors with violent tendencies to have a stay from mounting a pulpit to lead people?  They couldn’t see past Bynum’s fiery personality, or whatever else became the focus.  I’m sure Desiree Washington understands.  Her commitment to dancing to win the competition for which she spent 6 months preparing, over 24 hour delay in reporting the crime, and willingness to visit the famous boxer’s hotel room–after having asked to re-schedule the date, after asking her roommate to go with her to Tyson’s hotel room (who declined)–made her a scorned girl who didn’t want to be treated like a one night stand.  Poor Mike, Poor OJ, Poor R.Kelly, Poor Weeks.  How dare anyone interrupt their lives and make them accountable for alleged criminal activity?

It will be a better day when the focus of crimes committed against women are on the actual criminal activity and not on all of the issues with which the women who were murdered, raped, beaten, and assaulted walk into the criminal activity . 

Should Bynum have stayed will always be a question.  I happen to think that Bynum is a woman responsible for her own life before the Lord and that calling is greater than her calling to influence what a world looking at this fiasco will think about Christians who divorce.  One thing is certain:  her decision to leave is between her and the Lord who knows whether she would have ended up in a coffin from the maniacal behavior of a man who a bellman had to pull off of his wife while stating, “I’m going to kill you”.  The same people with signs praying for their celebrity and religious icons to get off (who they tend to empathize with), would be the same dramazoids waiting to view her body and crying empty tears.  Bynum made the choice to live and I don’t believe God intended for her to part by death at her husband’s hands.

 

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/06/21/bynumgwx.html

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/03/14/weeks0314.html

December 18, 2007

THE FACE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PAGEANT UPSET: Is Juanita Bynum Qualified?

by MullOverThis

Dr. Juanita BynumAfter perusing so many of the online articles and blogs regarding the allegations that Bishop Thomas Weeks III beat up his televangelist wife, Juanita Bynum, while threatening to kill her, I decided to post a comment to address a recurring incredulous line of thought.  Too many people seem to think that their favorite domestic violence victim who was on Oprah, who was on their hometown newspaper front page, who is their own mama who was pistol whipped, or who are themselves, are the “real” domestic violence victims.  Is there some competition or qualifying factor for domestic abuse survivors to  be “real”?  So the adaptation of the commentary follows, if nothing else, to show how ridiculous this whole concept that outrages too many people–Juanita Bynum as the face of domestic violence–really is. 

“This discussion is like a candy store for psychologists, psychoanalysts, and psychiatrists. Who has earned the trophy for ‘face of domestic violence’ and can rightfully be the ‘voice of domestic violence’? Talk about promoting misery and self-gain, folks. So now we need a run-off for who can speak and further the cause.  Well let’s go get Ms. Bynum who was put in the trunk and the car dumped in the body of water. Oops, she won’t be able to make the MOST ABUSED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PAGEANT because she is DEAD. Google search this pastor’s wife who died in the black church at the hands of her husband, Melvin Bynum. http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1123723/. What are credible categories for determining who is worthy to speak for domestic abuse? Goriest burn victims? Woman who outlived the most stab wounds? Woman who believed her husband would change but he gave her brain damage? Woman who raised the most kids in this mess? Woman with the most convincing cries? Woman who didn’t have enough money to leave but stayed blinged out? Woman who really didn’t deserve it because she never talked back, ever? Woman who hid the black eyes and bruises the best? Woman with the most hospital visits? Woman with the most non-effective restraining orders?  Woman with the most 911 calls?  Woman who bled the most? Woman whose husband stomped her, kicked her, and told her he was going to kill her? And the category garnering the most points and empathy: Poorest domestic violence victim, so her pain is really “real” because she has absolutely nothing. The Domestic Violence Hall of Fame inductees will be the ones who have grown up in it, married and repeated the pattern, and still live in it today. The ones who haven’t broken the cycle should be commemorated as they have been through the most to  warrant this position.  Please let your domestic violence agencies put out a campaign with your face, or your favorite candidate’s face on it because you are more deserving and will gain some attention and dollars to really address the issue. What have you done before this “blew up” in the press like this to speak for women like you? For women in the church? For women who are married to clergymen gone wild? When has there been a public debate about it in the black church in your lifetime? And you want to denigrate another sister who already has millions of people who support her for bringing attention to the issue. By all means then, go ahead. I’ll support your campaign but make sure you all have your medications first, because the emphasis should be about domestic violence and not opportunism, cattiness and craziness from all the outspoken non-spokepersons for ‘who is’ and ‘who is not’ what in domestic violence.”

The reality is there is no coveted exclusivity or ownership rights granted to “who can speak for domestic violence”.  Anyone who has passion, opportunity, strength and experience should be busy making something happen for all of the women, children and even men who face this demon in their families. Everyone with enough conviction to jockey for why Juanita should not be representative should re-direct their energies and  join organizations and voices that existed before Thomas allegedly met Juanita in the parking lot.  Better yet, the concerned are free to start their own crusades, forces of concrete influence, intervention and rehabilitation to stop domestic abuse.   Meanwhile prayer and faith in God is probably the most sure-fire essential for change.  Posted on December 17, 2007 at 11:38 pm