Archive for ‘Comedy’

June 12, 2015

Wait A Few Cotton Picking Minutes

by MullOverThis
FILE - In this July 24, 2009, file photo, Rachel Dolezal, a leader of the Human Rights Education Institute, stands in front of a mural she painted at the institute's offices in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Dolezal, now president of the Spokane, Wash., chapter of the NAACP, is facing questions about whether she lied about her racial identity, with her family saying she is white but has portrayed herself as black. (AP Photo/Nicholas K. Geranios, File)

FILE – In this July 24, 2009, file photo, Rachel Dolezal, a leader of the Human Rights Education Institute, stands in front of a mural she painted at the institute’s offices in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho. Dolezal, now president of the Spokane, Wash., chapter of the NAACP, is facing questions about whether she lied about her racial identity, with her family saying she is white but has portrayed herself as black. (AP Photo/Nicholas K. Geranios, File)

Cotton picking minutes are still minutes.

It’s just that these kind of minutes are hard and longer minutes to those who pick cotton, or understand the intensity of working in bondage and heat as captives.

Rachel Dolezal is under fire for identifying herself as part Black. She has assumed the identity of a Black woman and all of a sudden, this is a problem.

Now, when mixed-race people identify themselves as part Asian, or Tiger-Woodish, they are self-hating Black folk. Tiger Woods is NOT Asian! Not when he looks at the Asian momma who raised him, as Asian as she is and as Asian as her womb was when she pushed him out. He’s Black because he has dark skin and his daddy is a Black man. His racial identity has to be Black, regardless of his reality and environment.

The Mariah Carey’s and Halle’s of this world “better” not think they are White or Caucasion by the historic iota of a drop of Negro blood legal roots and its corresponding imprint in cultural norms to define a person’s race. Some social constructs have chains with locks that work to bind and to free depending upon the agenda. Don’t deny your heritage, and don’t identify with another when folks died for you to be who you are based upon your identity.  Whites and Blacks both seem to take issue with people who are “visibly” Black and want to think of themselves as anything other than Black. Self-hatred and Sell Out mentalities are the next in line notions, aren’t they?

What exactly is the problem here? This woman’s parents identify themselves as Caucasions. It logically follows that all of their natural born children ARE White and should identify themselves as such. Of course it does. And it historically, educationally and culturally follows that Africa is the “mother” of civilization. These same Black folks who have a twisted chip flavored with a mesquite bitter root Black bark on one shoulder conveniently forget the other shoulder’s claim–with strength I might add–that Black people are the ones who White people come from anyway. Illogical, contradicting weights on shoulders has to make a person tired. Real tired. And, dizzy. Black definers just may want to sit down and catch thy heads and thoughts, and bring them to an equilibrium so we can at least know who is truly qualified to be culturally, ethnically, socially or racially Black in America.

racheldolezal

A professor who has studied and now teaches Black studies should espouse her motherland heritage. At what point in her lineage does she get to chop off her motherland roots head and Blackness from her forefathers and foremothers? Do the same intelligencia, comics and commentators who call Negroid, Black, Colored, or African American people sell outs because they don’t speak with an urban vernacular, they aren’t Black, even though they are very Black, get the privilege to set the point? No, Rachel can set it for herself. She is qualified.

Oreos aren’t Black.

Sell outs aren’t Black.

People who don’t agree that Mike Brown could not have been shot in the chest while running away from cops or keep his hands up with multiple gunshot wounds, aren’t Black.

People who don’t want to use #Blacklivesmatter hashtags ONLY when crimes against Blacks committed by Whites take place, but notice Black lives in black body bags when Black folks kill or maim each other aren’t Black.

When Black people aren’t Black, and White people aren’t Black unless it’s time to argue that Jesus is Black and civilization began with Negroids producing all spectrums of skin-colored human beings, it seems to MullOverThis that its high time for Rachel to be Black.

She has been passing or legitimately Black for years. Her record for passing isn’t nearly record-breaking; she would have had to have been like her Black sisters who passed for Whites for years because they wanted the privilege of being free and enjoying “White privilege” and sheer freedom when their darker-skinned blood didn’t have this shade-bred option.

Since most Black people think the NAACP is about Negroidism as opposed to working to advance the equal rights of all people in America with commitments to work for those who cannot represent themselves and have been historically underrepresented and oppressed, the front man and now “woman” is supposed to be Black. Well, she is Black by many standards of what constitutes “Blackness” when ignorance is bliss and an operating welcome mat from the most educated and prolific to gin and juice drinking Black people in America is placed at the Black front door.

Anybody who’s down with the cause is usually Black, right? If it isn’t, when did that change?

Her regional NAACP presidency is not reserved for Black people. It’s reserved for qualified people: the same kind of qualified people who began the NAACP who were not Black and were Caucasion. The board of the NAACP looked like the Civil Rights movement constituency: Black, White and people who were committed to equitable human rights in America for all people.

So, Mrs. Rachel, welcome to the table you’ve been setting with advocacy and education while critics have been upgrading remote functions to yell at flat screen televisions and pick their nostrils. People who are about that life don’t really care how you identify yourself or if your mama stepped out with Mr. Bill, or not.

The Puerto Ricans who have never been to Puerto Rico and identify themselves with their culture won’t ever undergo such scrutiny; Neither would any legitimate Black person who had White enough skin to pass and was raised among a bunch of White children and naturally saw herself as the same.

Rachel, if your racial classification is a lie on the basis of social constructs, the acknowledgement of the evolution of the human race to produce these constructs is a lie. I’m quite confident that you don’t convince yourself that you are one of “them” when you look at your husband, children or siblings who look just like you.

You are Black enough for me and many other women who were born to a White parent and had to dilute Whiteness–as if that is the pure standard–and be deemed Black or other. Whatever you consider yourself to be, be that and work for the equality of all people.

If Ann Coulter gets a weave with red and pink strands, we will have to re-write civilization.

.

MullOverThis

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May 15, 2014

On Ann Coulter & Bring Back Our Country

by MullOverThis

Ann_Coulter_2012_Shankbone_4

I’m all for freedom of speech.

I’m not concerned about the fact that Ann Coulter is popular.

Most people who oppose her on the basis of her typical disregard for those who are not her kind cloaked in brash legalese and seeming care for this country, are “over” her.

As I woman, I’m not even concerned about the fact that her neck is extremely unbecoming to our gender and the tossed hair look is old and tired like…Well, in spite of her typical nastiness in the name of patriotism, to view Ann often requires us to view torrid broken hair.

People have asked when did she lose her soul. Here’s a more poignant question: When did she ever have one?

Ms. Coulter, who has been genetically pre-disposed to Whitey privilege masked with elitism, is an interesting creature among us. See, Annie Pooh thinks that right-wingism disguises the real essence and worth of her being. The thing about her kind is that they are often vocal about the ills and pangs of having to live among the left, those who we are supposed to believe are largely responsible for the continual degradation of America.  It’s an extremely interesting notion and thought process when human refuse wants to represent the standard of a good American and chime in as much as she possibly can on the actions of others while we cannot comprehend anything past the stench of what comes out of her mouth.

I’m so glad America is so much bigger than the journalists who are allowed to interview Annie Pooh again. Talk about privilege! What will the rest of the media do without access to one ANNE COULTER? She must be bigger than the font in caps you just read, in her mind.

This nation is full of people who understand that we exist as part of a global community and to be in support of the Bring Back Our Girls campaign is our obligation. With all of Annie Pooh’s upper crust life ingredients–an ivy league degree and an attorney with an impressive career–you would think that she had a modicum of common sense, wouldn’t you? Terrorism. Lawlessness. Mass kidnapping. Murder. Rape. Has she paid attention to international affairs? This was not the “time” to spoof off BBOG to bring attention to her right-wing agenda. It was tasteless but only people with taste buds would know that.

Oh, and if you want to know why Ann is Annie, I can’t help but grin and call a child trapped in a woman’s body something a bit more endearing and applicable to such an infantile blabbermouth. All of the best selling books she has will not change the fact that those who are not her kind will always exist and give her something to yap about.

In all things, I try to glean some learning experience. From this blog, I will test the hypothesis that human taste buds are connected to the soul.

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Here are my hashtag contributions to world affairs: Annie Pooh’s latest stunt because she is not as big as size 14 Font more or less the world:

#Plllzzzcaniinterviewu?

#NeedrefillsonWhiteyprivilegejuice?

#MorepeopleonboardwBBOG!THX!

 

MullOverThis

 

 

April 30, 2014

TIME TO CREATE THE NEW

by MullOverThis

Some things warrant uniqueness. Things of this nature need not ever be viewed in the mishmash of other human experiences that are utterly insane.

It is time to create the new terminology for such things. How about the word, “demenfoolery”? A good combination of what can only been viewed as demented foolery seems to suffice for this here thingamajig.

breastfeeding_5year_old-600x420

This mother, Sharon Spink, poses with a picturesque smile while breastfeeding her 5 year-old daughter who is big enough to no longer be cradled in her much bountiful arms and on her lap.  In other words, this generously sized woman has a child whose legs are too long to fit on her body but still allows this child to breast feed.

Let’s get some good use of the new word. Demenfoolery could not have had a greater début.

This child undoubtedly can talk, has teeth that can cut through a prime cut of filet mignon, can walk, can run, can poop on the big people’s toilet all by herself for probably at least 2 years now–if she was substantially LATE in toilet training–yet, has a reserved space on big momma’s breasts because she has to decide when it is time for her to stop breast-feeding.

Since when does a child have the mental acuity and capacity to know how to develop oneself?  With all the advanced medical and child development knowledge we have in today’s information age, mothers still think 5 year-old children need breast milk. Most pediatricians advise that children DO NOT need breast milk after about age 2. Heightened immunity because of 27 years of breast-feeding a child who can stand up and snatch a breast out and help oneself has not been proven anywhere.

The notion that a child needs to bond by breast-feeding at this over-the-hill age in infant development  is also demenfoolery. Bond by taking a walk in the park. Bond by doing a MJ dance track on a Wii system. Bond by watching a season of the Boondocks. Even the influence of raunchy superior whit in that cartoon series isn’t as harmful as sitting a child who is no longer an infant or toddler on a lap to help a mom with issues let go and rear a child. Bond by doing age appropriate activities.

Many will read this in an uproar because they breastfeed 12 year-olds and this is customary in many cultures. Many cultures which practice this, do so because they cannot afford milk and use this as an elongated form of nourishment for children who might otherwise be hungry. In many of these same cultures, children work at these tender ages and do not come home from a day’s work and start to yapping with a mouth full of teeth.

Please, demenfoolery mothers and demenfoolery fathers who allow their children to be breast-fed at these late stages of development, don’t get mad when your children are 72 and still want you to pay a car note and have a mental breakdown when you don’t text them back 2 seconds after they’ve tried to call you.

MullOverThis

 

April 14, 2014

Hilary Clinton Victim to Another Flying Shoe

by MullOverThis

Did this nincompoop actually throw a shoe at Hilary Clinton? You see what happens when lunatics grow up in a world where they are not taught to respect significant world changers?

Random thoughts:

1.  And to think, there would be a “whole lotta” men who would be roped in by that long blond hair. Look, nutjobs come with all shades of hair color.

2.  Hilary did not “dodge” the shoe. Clearly, she reacted to the footwear flying past her head.  Looky right ova here. Once she took that “swerve”, I can see that agility that probably has former President Bill Clinton hooked.

3.  I wonder what kind of shoe this woman forfeited. She must have really disliked the Mrs. Hilary Rodham Clinton to sacrifice a shoe.

4.  This is one instance in which I would have loved to see Hilary whack somebody. I would have looked the other way and reacted similarly to the way Mrs. Clinton did, AFTER I saw her “handle up” on the shoe-thrower as she did when the shoe flew past her skull.

5.  When the loose cannon sits in jail and hopefully gets a good dose of prison, she might want to think about what matters in the total scheme of life and get one.

 

MullOverThis.

 

October 29, 2012

Non-Meritorious FB Posts

by MullOverThis

Being that Facebookers (FB’s) post just about anything, MullOverThis is going to take the liberty to be the judge and jury on some nonsensical patterns:

1.  Posts about your child’s every accomplishment-If your child won the Nobel Peace Prize or found the only missing car key, most people might comprehend the worthiness of knowing such information, or feeling the need to share such accomplishments.  A snapshot of bug-a-boo’s one red, one gold, and two hunter green stars for tracing words two inches off of the dotted lines is not FBable.  It just may get the teacher in trouble if administration finds out because remember, the tracing was OFF of the lines and that is not an accomplishment that deserves the two hunter green stars.

2.  The latest photograph of yourself taken with your mobile phone camera-you know, the one with the extended arm away from self pose-particularly in a messy background, is not the best photo option.  Wait for a friend, or nag a compliant stranger, to take a snapshot in a picturesque place in front of a pond, or at horse manure farm.  We can’t smell the horse manure but we sure can see the garbage in backgrounds that invoke the same repulsive regurgitation in the desperate hand-held flicks.

3.  Posting your whereabouts such as, “Glad I made it in safe. No one at home yet. Time for a nice shower in the master garden tub,” makes it real easy for sickos to pounce, effectively.  We don’t need to know your whereabouts and timeline all over the world.  Remember, trusted Nana may not be the only one reading your whereabouts. And, when your whereabouts conflict with the stories you tell (the lies), FB–not you but let’s blame FB–may get you in trouble. If you’re at the amusement park on the sick day you took during an important company audit, or on the boogy-down dance floor with a hot red-head when your love thinks you’re working late, FB just might get you cut back.  So, think about sharing your every moment of excitement.  There is no APP for lie-proofing posts, yet.

4.  What’s on your mind?  FB really doesn’t want to know the answer to THAT question.  After all, it may be that your toe fungus is spreading, you feel like vomiting from the putrid smell of your husband’s foul defecation odor seeping from the 2 1/2 inch gap from underneath the closed bathroom door, you wish you could steal instead of having to go to work, you really have a crush on your co-worker and your wife is six months pregnant, or you don’t know who your baby’s daddy is and just called Maury for help.  The real FB question is, “What is on your mind that you should have enough sense to filter before you share with your network of friends and their friends?”  It is just that, that question is too long.  So thank God for MullOverThis and get the lesson.  We don’t want to really know everything that is on your mind absent sound judgment and discretion.

5.  Posters who are on FB at 2 AM, 4:38 AM, 8 AM, 2:27 PM, 4:14 Pm, 6:21 PM, 7:19 PM, and every 1/2 hour until midnight tell on themselves.  Not only do you have no life, an addictive personality, and probably supplant normal relationships to bolster your FB ones, you probably do not have any tangible career or other important things in life to take part.  Please change that by cheating on FB and having an affair with life.

MullOverThis

October 25, 2012

2012 Election Akin to 1980’s Basketball

by MullOverThis

On the last post, I unintentionally lied.

This post may be the shortest unofficial political pundit blog post.

This election is going to be a neck and neck finish between Romney and NObama.  There is going to be a great upset, so watch the polls up to the last minute.  We’re going to have to wait like we did when the buzzer rang down to the last second  in the last quarter of some of the best NBA games during the 1980’s.

The ONLY reason I hope Romney wins is because he cannot possibly be any more useless than NObama.  I hope the Romney teams oversaturates social media networking because that is the means by which many people will be influenced.  At least those that aren’t just gung-ho because there is a model African American family in the White House.  Those nincompoops just need to back track and get the Cosby Show series if they can’t find it in their own homes, or at least somewhere on the block.

MullOverThis

June 12, 2012

Creflo, Again!

by MullOverThis

K.

Now, Creflo has an official mugshot for some sort of physical tuff with his teenage daughter. While MullOverThis is a firm believer in knocking children out when they need correction, I have a few concerns about Mr. Dollar:

1.  How does the grand mighty pulpiteer advocate getting physical with his teenage daughter, yet believes that people who praise God with the dance are too emotional?  Emotional praisers who run, scream, and holler can’t release and praise God, but Creflo can run, scream, holler and allegedly choke his teenage daughter?

2.  Creflo says his daughter’s account of the incident is not correct.  He happens to pronounce this in church, as if the pulpit is his blackboard or FB page to post announcements.  What kind of a father feels the need to clear his own name at the expense of painting his daughter as a liar?

3.  Creflo’s older teenage daughter corroborates her sister’s story.  So now, we have two lying Creflo children.  However this pie is sliced, Creflo does not look good.

4.  If the “chiren” are scheming against self-control when it comes to praise God, lack of self-control when disciplining his daughter Creflo Dollar, then why hasn’t the wonderful Taffi Dollar made a public statement about the challenges of parenting teenage children?  The mama who was not there for this specific incident is silent on the matter?  We know why: cause she knows precisely how things go down in the Dollar household.

Creflo needs to cut it out and stop trying to save face.  This is a private matter and he should keep it as such and protect his troubled daughters.  Whether their trouble is super pimp Creflo or they are just high end drama queens gone wild, they still need a father who will handle this matter with self-control.

Now, “Praise Him, Creflo!”  Maybe now Creflo just might get a real dance.

January 9, 2012

Politically Correct Vegetable Lasagna

by MullOverThis

Folks, I’m outdone with this here recipe myself.  The age of acceptance is so influential that nothing is sacred, as is.  Not even lasagna.  Everything has to be revised and adjustable to the point where something can no longer be what it is, and our “brains” tell us that it is what the politically correct say it is.

One of my BFF’s told me she had this fantastic vegetable lasagna.  As an amateur Foodie, I tell her to get the recipe.  Homegirl tells me the lasagna was made out of:

White potatoes (rather than hi-calorie pasta), a rich homemade soup broth (instead of marinara sauce), no ricotta, zucchini and a bunch of other chopped vegetables, mozzarella and sprinkled with parmesan.  So, I summarized the dish as it registered in my  mind and repeated the ingredients to homegirl:  Potatoes, zucchini and other diced veggies, broth, mozzarella and topped with parmesan?  I got an affirmative answer.  I declared, “That is not lasagna.”

2012 Politically Correct Lasagna (Disclaimer: not an actual representation of the dish in question)

2012 Politically Correct Lasagna (Disclaimer: not an actual representation of the dish in question)

Do you believe what I got in response?  The recipe came from a PROFESSIONAL world-renowned chef;  there are alternatives to traditional lasagna.  The chef can call it what he thinks it is, and just because I don’t think it’s not lasagna, doesn’t mean it isn’t lasagna.  Some things are subjective, and this lasagna recipe-without lasagna noodles or any type of pasta-is one of them.  The chef has millions of people who eat his recipes, so because he called it lasagna, what the restof the world might deem as  variant vegetable scalloped potatoes is lasagna.  Meanwhile, I’m was online perusing 50 dictionary definitions of lasagna and wondering if the world has become so politically correct, that we “buy” anything.  By the way, no objective definition of lasagna gave room for a baked dish without the self-named pasta or some type of Italian sauce. But the chef is a PROFESSIONAL so there is no need to discuss whether it is lasagna, or not.

With this recipe, lasagna must be  any prepared food with mozzarella and parmesan cheese.  Politically correct lasagna requires NO pasta.  Not even spaghetti. Who needs pasta or Italian when a renowned Chef calls a white potato based entrée, lasagna?   Completely forget pasta in your concept of 2011 Professional Chef lasagna.  Forget marinara, tomatoes or any kind of alternative Italian sauce.  Broth is the new lasagna sauce!

As a tribute to this newfound enlightenment (I can’t even type this without laughing in disbelief), I offer a secret recipe for FRIED RICE:

1 box of orzo

1/2 red bell pepper

1/2 green/yellow pepper

a stalk of scallions

3/4 plum tomatoes

about 1/2 of your biggest finger size of fresh ginger

1 large clove of fresh garlic (garlic lovers, add less garlic; remember, this is a politically correct recipe)

a couple of tablespoons of olive oil

Prepare orzo as directed on pasta box;  Rice is not needed for this fried rice recipe.

Saute all other ingredients peeled, chopped finely and par-cooked.  Add drained orzo and continue to sauté.  Add some all spice, such as adobo and a hint of ground black pepper and paprika.

Serve hot, cold, or room temperature.  I love it room temperature.

Serve to loved ones and let them know that the world and their outlook toward food is changing.  This is the new Vegetable Fried Rice.  A nice complimentary side dish would be some politically correct spinach lasagna, without the oven, pasta, sauce or cheese.  Just mix some fresh spinach with sliced mushrooms, red peppers and sprinkle some sunflower seeds and dried red cranberries.  We used to call this a bed of spinach salad.

I think I just may take this concept and open an eatery on Capitol Hill.

MullOverThis.

P.S. Other than this here commitment to defering to an impressive chef, the good girlfriend is otherwise one of the most sane, sound people I know.

August 3, 2011

The Help

by MullOverThis

I attended a pre-screening of DreamWorks Pictures August 10th film release  “The Help”.  This movie was hilarious!

Some notable thoughts:

1.  One of the film co-stars, Octavia Spencer, plays the character “Minny” and her performance reminds me of the “Dream Girls” Jennifer Hudson/Beyonce acting upstage.  Minny makes this movie all by herself, if that were possible.  Although Octavia isn’t the top billed actress, she does an outstanding job of bringing a Black woman’s “tude” to light.

2.  The Help’s  subject matter is the kind of stuff that could make Black folks mad once again.  However the writing, storyline and acting does a great job of making what could otherwise be weighty,  lighthearted, and does so without sacrificing the import of what Black women endured while working in a racist rural South.

3.  The Help is a bit long but doesn’t have one dull moment.  This is a clean movie that the entire family should see and prepare to have engaging conversation about racism, sexism and our nation’s history.

4.  Amidst the context of southern gentility riddled with racism and sexism, the feminine frailties prove strong enough to muddle through life as is, with alliances, allegiances and synergy where the story of The Help is ultimately told.  Cat fights are kitten fights in this film where all symbolic fingernails are in tact by the final scene and curtsey.

I hope The Help does well at the box office.  For more information, here’s the website:  www.thehelpmovie.com.

Mulloverthis.

July 26, 2011

THE FUNNIEST TV SHOWS

by MullOverThis

K, blogosphere, I was thinking about how much television programming has changed since “The Real World”.  If I could re-write television history, I’d cancel most of the reality shows and produce some more quality comedy shows like the following:

Mulloverthis’  top 10 funniest television programs:

1.  Everybody Loves Raymond

Favorite character:  Tie between Marie and Frank

2.  Seinfeld

Favorite character:  Seinfeld

3.  Good Times

Favorite character:  Willona

4.  I Love Lucy

Favorite character:  Lucy

5.  All In The Family

Favorite character:  Archie

6.  Meet The Paynes

Favorite character:  Curtis

7.  Everybody Hates Chris

Favorite character:  Rochelle

8.  The Honeymooners

Favorite character:  Ralph

9.  The Cosby Show

Favorite character:  Tie between Theo and Vanessa

10.  The Jeffersons

Favorite character:  Tie between George and Florence

I wish there was room for a couple more because “Cheers” and “The Office”  would definitely be added.

Mulloverthis.