Non-Meritorious FB Posts

by MullOverThis

Being that Facebookers (FB’s) post just about anything, MullOverThis is going to take the liberty to be the judge and jury on some nonsensical patterns:

1.  Posts about your child’s every accomplishment-If your child won the Nobel Peace Prize or found the only missing car key, most people might comprehend the worthiness of knowing such information, or feeling the need to share such accomplishments.  A snapshot of bug-a-boo’s one red, one gold, and two hunter green stars for tracing words two inches off of the dotted lines is not FBable.  It just may get the teacher in trouble if administration finds out because remember, the tracing was OFF of the lines and that is not an accomplishment that deserves the two hunter green stars.

2.  The latest photograph of yourself taken with your mobile phone camera-you know, the one with the extended arm away from self pose-particularly in a messy background, is not the best photo option.  Wait for a friend, or nag a compliant stranger, to take a snapshot in a picturesque place in front of a pond, or at horse manure farm.  We can’t smell the horse manure but we sure can see the garbage in backgrounds that invoke the same repulsive regurgitation in the desperate hand-held flicks.

3.  Posting your whereabouts such as, “Glad I made it in safe. No one at home yet. Time for a nice shower in the master garden tub,” makes it real easy for sickos to pounce, effectively.  We don’t need to know your whereabouts and timeline all over the world.  Remember, trusted Nana may not be the only one reading your whereabouts. And, when your whereabouts conflict with the stories you tell (the lies), FB–not you but let’s blame FB–may get you in trouble. If you’re at the amusement park on the sick day you took during an important company audit, or on the boogy-down dance floor with a hot red-head when your love thinks you’re working late, FB just might get you cut back.  So, think about sharing your every moment of excitement.  There is no APP for lie-proofing posts, yet.

4.  What’s on your mind?  FB really doesn’t want to know the answer to THAT question.  After all, it may be that your toe fungus is spreading, you feel like vomiting from the putrid smell of your husband’s foul defecation odor seeping from the 2 1/2 inch gap from underneath the closed bathroom door, you wish you could steal instead of having to go to work, you really have a crush on your co-worker and your wife is six months pregnant, or you don’t know who your baby’s daddy is and just called Maury for help.  The real FB question is, “What is on your mind that you should have enough sense to filter before you share with your network of friends and their friends?”  It is just that, that question is too long.  So thank God for MullOverThis and get the lesson.  We don’t want to really know everything that is on your mind absent sound judgment and discretion.

5.  Posters who are on FB at 2 AM, 4:38 AM, 8 AM, 2:27 PM, 4:14 Pm, 6:21 PM, 7:19 PM, and every 1/2 hour until midnight tell on themselves.  Not only do you have no life, an addictive personality, and probably supplant normal relationships to bolster your FB ones, you probably do not have any tangible career or other important things in life to take part.  Please change that by cheating on FB and having an affair with life.

MullOverThis

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2 Comments to “Non-Meritorious FB Posts”

  1. ha! That is funny, but what can you use FB for if not for mindless, yet discretionary, fun?

  2. No doubt this is what makes FB so popular.

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