SEX SCANDAL PREVENTION GUIDE FOR US POLITICIANS

by MullOverThis

The day has come where people smart enough to get elected or appointed to public office need survival tips for remaining in office due to sexual improprieties.  Never mind the MORAL virtue we might hope people who have been entrusted to impact our welfare through legislative, judiciary and executive functions should have.  Forget all of that.  Politicians are people too.  They are human and real too.  There is still a fragment of good old countrypersons who  just don’t want to know that our trusted officers brains are responsive to their private parts, as opposed to the hope that  their private parts are responsive to their brains.  We expect that of pervs (short for perverts), pedophiles, sexual criminals, porn producers and stars, sex traffickers, and those committed to providing stellar sexual service to the underbelly of society:  escorts, strippers, prostitutes, high-class hookers, and whores.

Yes, sexual freedom is part of the American fabric which distinguishes us from other nations.  Needless to say, that is why infidelity is such a hum drum concept nowadays.  Who cares?  There is plenty of room on Craig’s list and wait a minute, even websites dedicated to placing wandering spouses with a good hookup or fling.  Love, honesty, honor, integrity, loyalty and preserving our health are notions best encapsulated when reading  a good heroic novel or when perusing century-old family albums.  The world has and is still changing and people who subscribe to some sort of moral excellence are too judgmental, played out and blah.

In the context of present times, a grown-behind married man separated from his wife shouldn’t have any problems having consensual sex with a young woman who just turned 18; At least, that’s the story to which  the first Chinese-American elected to the House, Representative  David Wu is sticking. The fact that the young girl claims it was not consensual may not play out in the future.  Apparently, the young lady knows it will be his word against hers.  Well, I guess Rep. Wu will just sit on the icky bench and join some of his former colleagues  now co-louses, Chris Lee, John EnSign and Anthony Weiner.   Since these men don’t seem to have enough good sense to know how to be a public servant while safely unzipping the pants at the same time, here’s some discretionary advice:

1.  Remember you’re a public servant and what you do in the privacy of your own home or behind some bushes in a park can make or break your entire political career.  There aren’t that many former D.C.  Mayor Marion Barry’s.   Not too many of you can be a straight-up crack addict, curse like you never knew Jesus in demeaning your regular prostitute, and get re-elected.  Black folks may be too forgiving and protective of our leaders, but that is usually a mistake we make with Black folk.

2.  When you see a hotty, refresh your brain with no. 1.

3.  If you’re married and you know your wife isn’t the push-over type, refresh your brain with no.1 and no.2.  And,

4.  If you’re married and you know your wife doesn’t put up with the nonsense, unless you have other significant streams of income, are already wealthy or have a reboundable skill set, you might have to demean yourself and join the ranks of desperadoes in the reality television world for some loot.  Spousal and child support can be a doozy on a politician’s salary.  You know you all don’t make that much money.

5.  Take the TIME to screen your perspective lays.  This is crucial.  Underage minors are illegal tender.  You’re going downhill if you touch them and get caught.  Forget the fact that you have to be a long-standing member of the Justified Misogyny Club when you view a child or woman as a good catch simply because of her body parts.  In other words, you have totally de-humanized ANOTHER HUMAN BEING and granted a super mental valuation of a young woman by what she can do to you, and how she can make you feel, yet still want to think  you are alright with your narcissistic hedonistic nearly-psychotic self.  If you have that much in common with a child and you are a grown-behind man, we the people have erred in putting you in office, while  thinking you were a grown-behind man as opposed to a child trapped in a man’s body.

6.  Don’t text, sext, or even pose for sex tapes, videos or any type of recordable activity.  Uh, when you get caught, the public knowledge of, and possible release of such messaging will surely make you have to stand up and do us all a favor as you announce your resignation.  Think:  sext leads to resignation….sext leads to resignation….sext leads to resignation.  Repetition will eventually ingrain some of this stuff into your brain.

7.  Refrain from making yourself open to opportunities to cheat or simply use horrific judgment in dating women.  Only a woman with as much to lose as you have, should be the kind of woman you entertain in your private dealings.  Don’t even think about trying something with a professional woman on your staff.  How are you going to try to be her boss if she’s got a one-up on you?  Don’t make yourself accessible and you won’t be accessible.

8.  Remember, these encounters last a few minutes, and if you’re a real stallion, well, fill in the blank: —————-.  Once your indiscretion is searchable in Google,Bing, Yahoo, or the like, you’re attached to an action for a lifetime.  A few minutes of hot stuff isn’t worth a lifetime of good work and otherwise, good worth.

9.  Be prepared for the fact that one moment can lead to a lifetime of issues if you get the wrong woman.  Women know how to milk men, especially suits who think they are running it.  The terror only ends when your pockets are empty and the wrong woman has had her fill of you.  So, don’t be tricked into thinking you’re the one, when you’re not the one and you’re being played.  Love lasts as long as you can fund it with a lot of women who just may turn your love story into a tabloid for a nice check.

10.  If you have any conscience and decency at all, be responsible for esteeming sex with one woman, hopefully one you respect enough to be married to, and you won’t have to worry about any of the above as you enjoy your career and we continue to support you as a politician in the grand old US.

Mulloverthis.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/washington/2011-07-26-David-Wu-quits-sex-scandal_n.htm

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