by MullOverThis

A woman who was raped and gave her daughter up for adoption thirty years ago is suing the state of New Jersey for allegedly assisting the adoptee in finding her. The thirty year old adopted daughter apparently went to her birth mother’s home, and has attempted to contact another birth sibling from her birth mother. The birth mother had been made aware of the adoptee’s request to communicate prior to the unsolicited home visit, and did not respond to the letter the State of New Jersey sent her apprising her of the same. For the full story, here’s the link to the article:

Every now and again, MULLOVERTHIS gets stumped. I had to think about this one for a few seconds, but only a few seconds. After mulling through the emotional components, this is a clear-cut case. The birth mother, if her story is correct, should get a million plus a few extra bucks. Adoption laws are SUPPOSED to work such that someone like the plaintiff can make the decision that she was prepared to live with, albeit thirty years ago. It is unjust to shift the rules now, because some lackadaisical state employees felt like doing whatever they wanted. Had the daughter found her through some ingenuity on her own, or with private people locaters, then we’d have a different story. This woman had a right to close the door to the rape, and the child that came from the rape, without having to face her at her front door thirty years later.

Once NJ pays, and pays dearly, they might impose some personal penalties to the employees that break the law and get caught up in an adoptee’s personal pursuits. Had this adoptee had a “need” that was life-threatening or considerably commensurate, she should have acquired a court order. The adoptee’s need does not outweigh the mother’s need to live in peace and privacy. This mother has absolutely no bond with the grown woman and should not have been jolted into re-visiting a part of her life that I’m sure she wished never happened.

As one who is not pro-life-but anti-murder and anti-disassociated human depravity through murdering pre-born children-this mother made a courageous decision and should teach the state a good old-fashioned lesson: Keep its word.




  1. First off the state of New Jersey has not commented on this story. I find it hard to believe that the state even released the information. New Jersey is historically one of the most difficult states to get non identifying information because it requires a court order. It is not just given to you. Second there are companies that will get you this information for a fee usually $1500 to $3500. From the way that this article is written, both the birthmother and her daughter were contacted. The state of New Jersey would not have information on the daughter. So that tells me that there was help here. A private investigation kind of help such as Kinsolving and Omni Search.

    I imagine that the birthmother was told that she can not keep her information secret because of companies that do searches, private investigators and others such as search angels. I know that my birthmother was. From what all of the news articles have stated, the adoptee only contacted each of these individuals once. So there is no stalking or harassment. Although I do sympathesize with her being raped, it is still not the fault of the adoptee. How is the adoptee supposed to know that she was raped?

    This article was put into a Philly newspaper a month prior to the Adoptee Rights Demonstration. The other issue is that this could very well possibly be a plant type of situation. It stinks that she is suing the state for a cool million dollars. It is a matter of time before a newspaper reveals this birthmother’s name. Court records are public records. So where is her privacy now?

    • Amyadoptee, I do not attempt to represent the merits of the case itself. The case will go before a competent court of jurisdiction where the plaintiff will not go far if there is not just cause (mishaps on the part of the state) . I don’t believe the issue is the birth mother being raped, per se. It really is the fact that she chose not to be contacted because she was raped or whatever her reasoning is. She has a right to her privacy regardless of what the adoptee knew, or did not know. The world does not revolve around what an adoptee wants. That is why there are laws regarding these types of situations, hopefully where all parties’ interests will be protected. What is fair to presume is that the adoptee knew her mother did not want to be contacted. And, why show up on the doorstep without an initial conversation, e-mail, or some sort of conversation indicating that a complete STRANGER wants to meet you? Finally, the birth mom doesn’t live in a plastic bubble. If her daughter found her, the press will certainly find out who she is. This whole situation is probably frustrating for all involved, but also speaks to the fact that people really need to understand that their own ambitions and needs cannot be fulfilled or thrust upon someone else that is UNWILLING and has a right to define her own life.


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