Smackeroos Can Be Deadly

To all those who are afraid to leave a domestic violence situation, consider that many who have been murdered never thought that death would be the outcome.  Although some have the instinct and know that one of the two are going to end up dead unless things change, many never think the fatal punch, slip, kick, thrust, headlock, bullet, stab wound or whatever will be the last.

If you are afraid to leave, you should be even more afraid to STAY.  All that you may have to leave behind, will also be left behind if there is no more you.  The people who love and value you will also lose much:  their loved one.

www.evefoundation.org

www.futureswithoutviolence.org

www.domesticviolencestatistics.org

 

When The Juice Dries Up

I remember the day I waited for the verdict in OJ’s murder trial better than I remember most days.  That day was a day that I would find that most of the hope vested in true justice in America would be crushed.  I heard the verdict, watched OJ’s reaction, his son’s reaction, and knew what I knew the moment I saw the televised chase in the white bronco.  As one who refuses to dethrone common sense for a bunch of extraneous theories that amount to nonsense, it was clear that Orenthal Simpson, The Juice, had something to hide.  Marsha Clarke and Chris Darden missed simple common sense approaches to working their legal theory and proving the prosecution’s case against OJ.  OJ’s legal team pimped stereotypes and the race card to give place to reasonable doubt.  Such mastery even trumped DNA evidence, which by the way, has no particular feelings against OJ.  And, we cannot forget Johnny Cochran’s “if [the glove] doesn’t fit, we must acquit”.   OJ’s immediate post trial behavior only substantiated that fact that I believed that OJ did in murder Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman. His year-long pre-verdict promise to find the real killer never took place.  A much needed trip to the golf course did, however.   Nicole’s alleged drug abuse and frivolous lifestyle did not cloud my judgment about the worth of her life, or the ignorance many still hold regarding control and domestic abuse at its worst. The grand celebration that many African Americans conducted, because OJ symbolized someone who got away with it, like endless other white men who have gotten slaps on wrists for committing crimes against blacks, was not true equity.  OJ’s victory only symbolized the sickness of racism and celebrity love working in the reverse where African Americans by the masses showed that when given the opportunity, we would engage and celebrate the same racial bias that  historically served to oppress us. 

As Denise Brown allegedly stated, all who worked to help OJ “go free” have suffered major castastrophes because God doesn’t like ugly.  As the following referenced AP article denotes regarding the recent Las Vegas trial, “He [OJ] was convicted of an armed robbery that happened on Sept. 13 and was found guilty on the 13th anniversary of his Los Angeles murder acquittal. The Las Vegas jury deliberated for 13 hours after a 13-day trial.”  Thirteen [13] is the number of apostasy, depravity and rebellion in Biblical numerics.  OJ will finally be sentenced for the current charges, yet I cannot help but believe that OJ, who is facing a possible life sentence, will spend incarcerated days knowing that he finally got what he deserved. 

Although I believe OJ was set up and walked right into the trap set for him, he did so because his steps of life needed to take him to reap what he sowed.  He needed to be exposed for his shady low-grade lifestyle.  The same legal system that OJ allegedly “got over” on in 1995 is the same legal system that may have worked against him in this case.   OJ’s jury is this case was a jury of his peers.  OJ is not concerned about being surrounded by black people unless it involves his family.  So African Americans need not even attempt to use the make-up of the jury as a ground for bias against OJ because he is a Black man.  The Juice’s willful associations over the years have been with the same racial make-up of the jurors that heard the case and relevant facts in this case. 

For OJ, it is time to pay the piper. 

 

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5iUNgbOr-2bnpFUX0MiII6je2CkRAD93KADP80

 

Bynum’s Battle is Over–Weeks and Bynum Divorce Final

If you live long enough, you will experience the best of times and the worst of times, all at the same time.  This holds true, for example, when a doting father watches his only daughter get married.  The ultra dad may be exuberant while witnessing his daughter take on the life of a wife, all while grieving because his baby girl is now looking to another  as her strong man, protector, provider and leader.  Divorce often has this ambivalent effect on couples that don’t make it.  While each partner may be looking forward to a permanent dissolution of the marriage, it is often a painstaking reminder of the end of life as usual.  Psychologically, it can be as traumatic as experiencing a death, or loss of a loved one.  So, this divorce cannot be an easy time for Bynum or Weeks.

The couple received a final divorce decree on June 20, 2008 at the Atlanta area Gwinnett County Superior Court.  Bynum and Weeks were a high-profile ministry couple who had an unprecedented media exposed take-by-take coverage of the demise of their marriage.  Their union had challenges like most.  The straw that broke the camel’s back was the August 21, 2007 parking lot incident where Bynum alleged that her then husband, Weeks, assaulted her by beating and repeatedly kicking her.  Weeks plead guilty to aggravated assault, after initially stating that he never put his hands on  Bynum.  He later changed his story and said he pushed Bynum away because she was attempting to assault him.  Bynum was the one with the documented bruises and the testimony of two black male hotel employees who had no prior relationship to Bynum other than seeing her frequent the hotel.  Even with Weeks’ alleged spousal abuse to his first wife, alleged physical altercations with a male and female church employee, a switch in stories before the world, and conviction, he still claims to be the victim. 

Had Michael Jackson, OJ Simpson, Marion Barry, Mike Tyson and most recently R. Kelly not been hailed as heros by a litany of supporters amidst alleged crimes against women and children, I might be alarmed.  This is the world we live in.  Where a prominent Baptist preacher petitioned for Mike Tyson, who has recently been linked to a murder plot in Bedford-Stuyvestant area of Brooklyn, New York, to have his prison sentence for raping Desiree Washington stayed.  Where were the church leaders petitioning for Bishop Weeks or other pastors with violent tendencies to have a stay from mounting a pulpit to lead people?  They couldn’t see past Bynum’s fiery personality, or whatever else became the focus.  I’m sure Desiree Washington understands.  Her commitment to dancing to win the competition for which she spent 6 months preparing, over 24 hour delay in reporting the crime, and willingness to visit the famous boxer’s hotel room–after having asked to re-schedule the date, after asking her roommate to go with her to Tyson’s hotel room (who declined)–made her a scorned girl who didn’t want to be treated like a one night stand.  Poor Mike, Poor OJ, Poor R.Kelly, Poor Weeks.  How dare anyone interrupt their lives and make them accountable for alleged criminal activity?

It will be a better day when the focus of crimes committed against women are on the actual criminal activity and not on all of the issues with which the women who were murdered, raped, beaten, and assaulted walk into the criminal activity . 

Should Bynum have stayed will always be a question.  I happen to think that Bynum is a woman responsible for her own life before the Lord and that calling is greater than her calling to influence what a world looking at this fiasco will think about Christians who divorce.  One thing is certain:  her decision to leave is between her and the Lord who knows whether she would have ended up in a coffin from the maniacal behavior of a man who a bellman had to pull off of his wife while stating, “I’m going to kill you”.  The same people with signs praying for their celebrity and religious icons to get off (who they tend to empathize with), would be the same dramazoids waiting to view her body and crying empty tears.  Bynum made the choice to live and I don’t believe God intended for her to part by death at her husband’s hands.

 

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/06/21/bynumgwx.html

http://www.ajc.com/search/content/metro/gwinnett/stories/2008/03/14/weeks0314.html

Juanita Bynum on Divorce Court

In case you were wondering what her appearance was all about, check out the clips.

I have never seen divorce court spend so much air-time highlighting any special guests and their own lifestyles or issues.  So, this appearance is probably aimed at increasing the show’s ratings.

Whether or not Bynum’s appearance served ministerial purpose is really a question that only those who she spent time with can answer.  Nonetheless, I’m sure this won’t stop the philosophizers from philosphizing and waking up again tomorrow, having not demonstrated notable service outside of their own needs or interests to anyone else who has been substantially impacted by their lives.  Meanwhile, again Bynum has used her personal life experience to provide insight for someone else.

After being stomped by an unrepentant husband who still denies any real wrongdoing, it is easy for Bynum to identify with and tell another woman to love oneself enough to stop the domestic abuse before it cannot be curtailed.

 

EURWEB: “Man-UP” and Offer An Apology to Dr. Juanita Bynum

EURweb covered the Juanita Bynum and Bishop Thomas Weeks marital dispute stemming from the August 21, 2007 parking lot assault. This media outlet, along with a plethora of others, interviewed Bishop Thomas Weeks and gave slanted coverage. This is not problematic at all as people tend to believe what they believe and present coverage based upon their own perspectives. Where EURweb went too far and denigrated itself to a trashy online publication is when it crossed the lines of any type of journalistic integrity in making the statement, “We find out that in this couple’s feud, Weeks is a total victim who thinks he is being used for Bynum’s personal gain.” (EURweb, WEEKS SPEAKS AGAIN (Part 2): Bishop Thomas Weeks comes out swinging January 2, 2008). If this “WE FIND OUT THAT IN THIS COUPLE’S FEUD WEEKS IS A TOTAL VICTIM…” was a mere misprint, Lee Bailey needs to merely apologize. However, in reading the EURweb’s editorial in totality and context, it will be quite difficult for them to squirm out of the fact this coverage was tabloidville at best.

Looking at the tone of Eurweb’s “exclusive” two-part interview with Bishop Weeks, seems like Mr. Lee Bailey thought he was doing a service to the public by sitting down with a black man who had allegations of assaulting his wife, while ignoring the public records of statements from two eye-witnesses (who were also black men), one of whom pulled Bishop Weeks from kicking his wife while on the ground.

In part one of the interview, here was some of the statements Bailey made regarding the incident: “Now, armed with a PR firm, Weeks is on an interview spree to disinfect what’s left of his reputation–appearing to follow his wife’s trail of tears already having been on the Tom Joyner show where 2 months ago she’d been candid about the alleged abuse. [Please note that Juanita Bynum was very adamant about discussing domestic violence when Tom Joyner tried to pin her to discussing her marriage with Bishop Weeks.]…Perhaps by telling his version of the story his members and others will see him in a more positive light… After the embarrassing allegations he has withstood, it seems that he could use a fresh start…In this continuing coverage of Bynum-Weeks, EUR’s Lee Bailey is one of the first to speak to the tarnished clergyman in a straight up, man-to-man conversation about the allegations he is facing…”

This morning, EURweb’s investigative mode was inoperative and reported the final plead agreement. Since Lee Bailey is into fresh starts for the tarnished who have to disinfect what’s left of a reputation, he might begin with a mere one-liner that addresses the fact that his coverage and gratuitous findings fostered the decrepid concept that a black woman set her husband up when in fact, she was violently abused. Until EURweb can take account for promoting an abusers agenda with their own findings, their worth will certainly only be as good as issuing the press releases and the paid advertisments they publish.

For EURweb interview click on links below:
Part 1:
http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur39588.cfm/
Part 2:
http://www.eurweb.com/story/eur39650.cfm

UPDATE: EURweb was sure to publish Bishop Week’s explanation of taking the plea agreement. Then, they made a few editorializations with supporting quotations, in line with the Bishop’s explanation of the plea agreement. EURweb CONVENIENTLY omitted Bishop’s Weeks public admission that he pushed AND KICKED his wife. What some men will do in order to make a mockery of domestic violence against women is unbelievable.

THE FACE OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PAGEANT UPSET: Is Juanita Bynum Qualified?

After perusing so many of the online articles and blogs regarding the allegations that Bishop Thomas Weeks III beat up his televangelist wife, Juanita Bynum, while threatening to kill her, I decided to post a comment to address a recurring incredulous line of thought.  Too many people seem to think that their favorite domestic violence victim who was on Oprah, who was on their hometown newspaper front page, who is their own mama who was pistol whipped, or who are themselves, are the “real” domestic violence victims.  Is there some competition or qualifying factor for domestic abuse survivors to  be “real”?  So the adaptation of the commentary follows, if nothing else, to show how ridiculous this whole concept that outrages too many people–Juanita Bynum as the face of domestic violence–really is. 

“This discussion is like a candy store for psychologists, psychoanalysts, and psychiatrists. Who has earned the trophy for ‘face of domestic violence’ and can rightfully be the ‘voice of domestic violence’? Talk about promoting misery and self-gain, folks. So now we need a run-off for who can speak and further the cause.  Well let’s go get Ms. Bynum who was put in the trunk and the car dumped in the body of water. Oops, she won’t be able to make the MOST ABUSED DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PAGEANT because she is DEAD. Google search this pastor’s wife who died in the black church at the hands of her husband, Melvin Bynum. http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/1123723/. What are credible categories for determining who is worthy to speak for domestic abuse? Goriest burn victims? Woman who outlived the most stab wounds? Woman who believed her husband would change but he gave her brain damage? Woman who raised the most kids in this mess? Woman with the most convincing cries? Woman who didn’t have enough money to leave but stayed blinged out? Woman who really didn’t deserve it because she never talked back, ever? Woman who hid the black eyes and bruises the best? Woman with the most hospital visits? Woman with the most non-effective restraining orders?  Woman with the most 911 calls?  Woman who bled the most? Woman whose husband stomped her, kicked her, and told her he was going to kill her? And the category garnering the most points and empathy: Poorest domestic violence victim, so her pain is really “real” because she has absolutely nothing. The Domestic Violence Hall of Fame inductees will be the ones who have grown up in it, married and repeated the pattern, and still live in it today. The ones who haven’t broken the cycle should be commemorated as they have been through the most to  warrant this position.  Please let your domestic violence agencies put out a campaign with your face, or your favorite candidate’s face on it because you are more deserving and will gain some attention and dollars to really address the issue. What have you done before this “blew up” in the press like this to speak for women like you? For women in the church? For women who are married to clergymen gone wild? When has there been a public debate about it in the black church in your lifetime? And you want to denigrate another sister who already has millions of people who support her for bringing attention to the issue. By all means then, go ahead. I’ll support your campaign but make sure you all have your medications first, because the emphasis should be about domestic violence and not opportunism, cattiness and craziness from all the outspoken non-spokepersons for ‘who is’ and ‘who is not’ what in domestic violence.”

The reality is there is no coveted exclusivity or ownership rights granted to “who can speak for domestic violence”.  Anyone who has passion, opportunity, strength and experience should be busy making something happen for all of the women, children and even men who face this demon in their families. Everyone with enough conviction to jockey for why Juanita should not be representative should re-direct their energies and  join organizations and voices that existed before Thomas allegedly met Juanita in the parking lot.  Better yet, the concerned are free to start their own crusades, forces of concrete influence, intervention and rehabilitation to stop domestic abuse.   Meanwhile prayer and faith in God is probably the most sure-fire essential for change.  Posted on December 17, 2007 at 11:38 pm